you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
