My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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