you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
FUCK WHALES
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
