that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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