ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
