he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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