i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
