Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
