Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
