Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
