I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
