I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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