Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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