That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
