he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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