Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
