I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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