I cockslap morals
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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