you guys were way drunker than both of me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
