I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
