Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
