it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
