Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
