My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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