you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
