then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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