He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can i not drive my cunt home
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
