i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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