no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
