I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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