the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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