I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize