How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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