i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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