I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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