She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
