All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
