i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
