i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize