it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
