he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
