wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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