I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
