Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
