Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
