She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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