dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
