So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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