The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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