I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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