So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
