So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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