thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
