I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize