When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
