I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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