Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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