Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize