just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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