you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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