pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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