I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
