There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
