i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
