it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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