Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
