I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
