I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
