Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize