on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
