Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
