Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
