wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize