So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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