god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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