so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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