Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
