Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize